By June Mirassou —
Some of you that don't know me so well may think that I have undergone a personality transplant after reading my blog. Where did that dark humor (and all that cussing) come from? Well, it's always been there. Only I'm a teacher, and it's really best if we keep our freak flag hidden from public view. The public is so "judgy" sometimes...
So. I just didn't let my "freak flag" fly all the time, but it's been there all along. You need proof? Okay, this is one of my favorite jokes of all time. It goes something like this:
This guy has had a terrible accident and is in the hospital. Tragically, he has to have one of his legs amputated. Only, when he's in surgery - regrettably - the surgical team accidentally amputates the wrong leg. Once they realize their mistake, of course, they have to amputate the other leg, too. When the patient comes to and he is informed of the tragic error, he wants to sue the hospital...but he doesn't have a leg to stand on.
I know. Terrible. But I've told it countless times, and I still giggle when I come to the punch line.
Oh, and I just read another one on Reddit:
My girlfriend broke up with me because I kept stealing her wheelchair.
Don't worry. She always comes crawling back to me.
Come on. Funny, no? Okay, it might not be your cup of tea, but I recently discovered that I have a free pass. I can pretty much say whatever I want and play the Brain Cancer Free Pass Card. It's like a Get Out of Jail Free Card, only way cooler - but it comes at a much bigger price. <---unfortunately, that was in the small print.
Yesterday, Steven and I were visiting with two of my favorite people in the whole world, Chuck and Jill. When you look up "salt of the earth", their picture is there. (Geek alert: I just looked up "salt of the earth" to make sure that it means what I think it means.)
Wikitionary.com says:
(idiomatic) A most worthy person.
(idiomatic) A decent, dependable, unpretentious person.
Yep, that's what I thought. Nailed it! Chuck and Jill's picture is NOT there, however. I'm sure that's an oversight which will be corrected soon.
Note to self: upload Chuck and Jill's picture on wikitionary website.
Anyway, we were discussing this Brain Cancer Free Pass thing, and I was saying that I have NO problem with anyone using it on my behalf. If you are in a bit of sticky-wicket and the problem can be solved by saying, "I just found out that my wife/mom/friend/whatever has brain cancer," let 'er rip. Or if you have something inappropriate that you really want to say to someone, but you don't dare...I'll be happy to do it for you! Followed by, "Hey, you know I have brain cancer, right?"
But Chuck, who is the luckiest son-of-bitch that I've ever met (and not just 'cause he's married to Jill) ...Okay, he's actually really smart about Business & Stuff. <-- If you don't have your MBA, that's a technical term for knowing how to make a shit-ton of money and live a bitchin' life. Well, he suggested that I might be able to monetize this whole Brain Cancer Free Pass thingy.
See, I told you he was brilliant! And he and Jill clearly wear their freak flags proudly 24/7. DUH! Who else would spend a glorious Wednesday afternoon in an Italian grotto in Sonoma, eating gelato, and talking about such things? My peeps!
So, I've set up my paypal account (junemirassou@gmail.com) and feel free to contribute to it whenever you feel the need to avail yourself of the Power of the Brain Cancer Free Pass. We're discussing creating a club so members could get a discount if they buy in bulk. I clearly need some more help from Chuck on the specifics, but the concept is out there now, so no one can just steal it!
You're welcome.
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