A Fair is a Carnival without Rides?

I think there is an official phase after everyone's cancer diagnosis where they turn into a two year old who has been told they have to take a nap and when they all wail, "But it's not faaaaaaiiiiir!"

[Side note: Ironically, that's one of the few perks of having cancer - naps are AWESOME - and everyone encourages you to take them. I never really appreciated naps before, but now, I'm their number one fan. Except for Jill. But I'm a close second.]

But about the whole "It's not fair" thing. It goes something like this:
Doctor: You have cancer.
Patient: But it's not faaaaiiirrr!!!
To his credit, the doctor doesn't pull out the old nugget: "a fair is a circus without rides"... or is it "a fair is a circus with a rides"???

Either way, I've never it thought made much sense because I'm pretty sure that I've been to circuses and fairs that both have rides. However, I think fairs don't have clowns, so that may be a more accurate statement. Although that wouldn't be relevant to the whole ""napping is unfair" business. But it might make so little sense that it would shock a two year old enough to quit whining, and say, "Wha'?!?!"

Besides, if you threatened to take them to a circus, that might get them to take a nap. Because a lot of people I know are really scared of clowns. Like, PHOBIC about it. (I googled that shit and the official word is: "coulrophobia")

And is it any wonder with pictures like THIS circulating around?

I'm not particularly phobic about clowns, but this is creepy, no? 

So, helpful little tip for our moms with young children out there. Instead of trying the "a fair is a circus without rides" ploy, you might want to try, "If you don't take a nap, I'm going to bring you to see the clown." Feel free to print out a copy of the picture for added emphasis

See! This isn't only a blog about a woman with brain cancer. It includes helpful little tidbits of parenting advice. You have my permission to share with all your Mommy & Me groups. Bonus!

Steven and I did go through a brief "It's not fair!" period. You start thinking of where you are in your life and how much you have left to accomplish, how much you would miss if you weren't there...I think it's a natural reaction.  Especially since it seemed like we'd hit a particular sweet spot in our lives. I had finally started working on the winery (which has been a dream of ours for so long!), our first grandchild is on the way, we're talking about FINALLY moving up to Livermore...and after 24 years of marriage, I've never been more in love of my Schmoopy/Bald Hotty as I am today.

But then I started thinking about the concept of "fair"...."Fair"? Really? And I could name hundreds...thousands...MILLIONS of deaths that were "unfair".  Let's just start with the holocaust, shall we? And we read about "unfair deaths" every day in the paper, see them on the t.v....babies and teenagers and young adults and couples with small children and older couples with grandbabies...
Is it really ever "fair" to remove them from the lives of all the other people that love them and want them to be around for really a long, long time?

"Fair" isn't the right word. The word I keep coming to is "random". It's so fucking random, who lives and who dies. We all know people who smoke like a chimney, drink like a fish, never exercise, and are in no danger of dying anytime soon..

or are they?

Sorry to be a such a bummer. But death is really random like that. Maybe they won't die of lung cancer, or psoriasis of the liver, or a heart attack, but they could die of...the FLU (notice that I didn't feed into the whole ebola hysteria?). or getting into a horrible car accident that they didn't even see coming. or getting pushed into the path of train/subway....or getting smothered by a clown in the forest (Hey, he was only trying to give you a hug!)...

because LIFE/DEATH is fucking random like that!

I read an article several days ago that stuck with me about the London Beer Flood that happened 200 years ago on October 17, 1814.  A  3-story tall vat of porter exploded from the pressure of the fermentation process and unleashed the weight of 570 tons of liquid, which ended up causing a chain reaction. The force of the explosion sent a wall tumbling down. Nobody died at the brewery, but eight people in adjoining tenements were killed...one of which was actually mourning the death of her two year old. You wanna talk about random??? You all want to join me in a collective, "What 'da fuck??!?!"

One of my wise friends said, soon after I revealed my diagnosis, that "the last I heard, we were never promised tomorrow." We only really have today - all of us. Not just someone with cancer. ALL. OF. US. So, get busy living it! Before you get murdered by a clown offering free hugs or are crushed by a tsunami of beer.  And for goodness sake, stop whining about what is "fair" and "not fair". Unless you're two and your mommy is talking about taking you to see The Clown.