The One in Which I Think I'm Having a Paddling Boarding Lesson

Have I ever told you the crazy story about my Spring Break 2013?

I'm not sure what came over me in 2013, but I decided to pack this week-long break with not just one, but TWO separate and crazy fun trips - on opposite ends of the U.S.!
1) I was invited by my parents to visit their condo in Maui with my daughter, Katherine.  (And you know the answer to that question is always, "YES!" Kiddies??? Right??? Have I taught you nothing?)

and

2)I had signed up to run the Disney Princess Half-Marathon in Disneyland with my sister the following weekend! Logistically, that meant I spent 4 days in Maui, that I flew home to San Jose, slept overnight, switched my bags up, and took off the next day for Orlando, Florida.

I KNOW! You don't have to tell me that it's crazy!  I lived it! But it was fun as hell! And I wouldn't have changed anything for the world. The Disney Half Marathon Adventure is going to have to wait for another time...I want to tell you a little story about our "Paddling Boarding" lessons on Maui...

I think Katherine and I were actually in Maui for 3 nights, 4 days - and we definitely sucked the marrow out of that experience: Boogie Boarding, Snorkeling, whale watching, Sunsets & Rainbows...

(Yes, my hair is red in this picture - I dyed because I was dressing as Merida from Brave for the half-marathon.)

Whale Watching and Boogie Boarding? Yes, please!

 But I want to tell you about our Paddle Boarding Lessons....

You see, I've always wanted to go paddle boarding, and Katherine was up for either paddle boarding or surfing lessons. Perfect! So, we booked a paddle boarding lesson online the night before and got up bright and early to get into Lahaina on time. "Todd", our instructor, suited us up with rash guards in the store and pointed casually to a video of people surfing that was running in a loop on their t.v. "See, I'll have you doing that in no time!!" Then he had us grab long boards and carry them across the street to the shoreline. "I like to use these long boards because I want you to really get up on those boards. Some people have a whole lesson and never even get up on the board. I guaruntee I'll get you up and surfing in no time."

Uh....it was suddenly really clear to me that he was under the impression that we were having SURFING lessons, not PADDLE BOARD lessons. This is the point where I had to make a decision. I knew Katherine wanted to learn to surf. And to turn this around now and switch Todd up...was it worth it? Or do I just go with the flow?

What do you think I did? Come on! You know me by now!

I had surfing lessons - for the first time! And Todd was right.
We practiced the moves on the sand first:

Kind of like this...

And then we went out in the water, and were able to pop up on those long boards and surf (almost) right away. We didn't pay for any pictures, so you'll have to imagine us there. Sorry!    Okay....HERE:

This is pretty much what adorable Katherine looked like surfing...

Here is about what I looked like...

See, we even have proof - we got certificates and hats and everything! I got an A+! hahaha!

 So...yada yada yada,,,

I bet you're thinking that this is one of the cute stories where you learn about how if you have an open mind and a free spirit, you can experience something unexpectedly wonderful...
and um...yes...that is true. But that's not why I've been thinking about this little story.

Lately, I feel like I've been taken on a journey that is way over my head...and to tell the truth, the last week or so, I've had a really, really hard time keeping my balance. I'm trying to stay calm and just float along the surface of the water, and I feel like I keep "falling off my board", so to speak, and being pummeled by waves.

I'm trying to imagine myself in control - standing on calm waters with a paddle to guide me -

But I can't seem to get it right. I want to say that I remain positive and calm and "in control", but that would be a lie. I've been doing a lot of panicking and crying this week. I'm trying to read what I can from other survivors who seem to have it all figured out. But the fact is that, in order to read this stories, I have to read probably 10x the number of people who haven't survived or who don't have a clue what they're doing...what's going to happen next...how they are going to deal with it...

And right now, I'm so very far from calm. I'm scared.

I hesitated to write this blog entry because so many people have come up to me and said how "inspiring" I am with my positive attitude through all this. And I thought I'd disappoint you. But I started writing this blog to be an authentic voice of someone living with brain cancer, and I want to keep it 100% real.

Right now, I kind of wish I had taken the paddle boarding lessons...but I hear it's pretty freakin' hard to stay upright on those suckers, too.

I'll keep working on it. Keep getting up when I lose my balance. Keep looking at the horizon. and Keep breathing  <in....and...out...in...and....out.> Because I'm sure "losing my shit" isn't in the Survival Manual.

I guess I just wanted you to know that Mother Fuckin' Brain Cancer Fighting Ninja Warriors get scared, too.

OH, and if you get invited to Maui, the answer is always, "YES!"