The One in Which I Do Something Ballsy

I've got great news for you all! Are you ready?

I am a Long Term Survivor!*

*Now, before you get all excited and plan a party --- or decide maybe June has gone off the deep end...
Kiddies, I can hear you saying it now: "What the deuce!? How can you say that? You were only diagnosed in September 2014 and you haven't even had your first post-treatment MRI! [This Friday! <scanxiety butterflies!>]  

Have you lost your mind?!"

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Let's all take a deep breath, and let me explain...

The other day, I started to read this book that my thoughtful mother-in-law, Judy, sent to me....like, RIGHT away when she first heard the news about my situation.  It's called Crazy, Sexy Cancer Survivor, by Kris Carr.  And it looked really good, only I wasn't really feeling up to reading at all at the time. I was more into binge watching t.v. and movies on Netflix. So, it sat on my nightstand for a good long while I watched seasons of Newsroom, Girls, the entire The Tudors series.... Sorry, Judy! Love you! My brain just wasn't up to the task yet.

But in the New Year, one of my goals is to work on healing through the lens of the trifecta: Mind, Body, Spirit (more on that coming soon..) so I thought that this book might be a good place to help me tap into the whole Mind/Spirit part of things. And BAM, within the first couple pages, she had hooked me. She's infectious and positive and ...well, you can check her out online because she's kind of become a Big Deal and an Industry in a sense. Yes, she has things to sell. But don't let your cynicism get the best of you. [FYI: The world doesn't need more cynics.) She's got very important things to say. Go, Kris!

I'll even save you the trouble of googling that shit: Here it is on amazon.com.

One of the first things she says to do in her book is write down (yes, right there in the book - see, I like a girl who isn't afraid to mark up a book, too.) "I am a survivor. A Crazy Sexy Survivor and thriver!" And I did. And it felt good.

But then I got to thinking about this...in the Stage IV GBM community in particular, there's this on-going discussion and longing and quest to find Long Term Survivors, like the kick-ass Cheryl Broyles, whom I've mentioned before. But the term is not clearly defined, as far as I can tell. In other words, "How long is long?"

And then it hit me...if I can declare myself "a survivor", why can't I call myself a Long Term Survivor? As far as I know, I'm not violating any copyright laws. In fact, "long term" sounds suspiciously like one of those squidgy, judgement-call words. Like short or tall, fat or skinny...

You've all seen these e-cards....you get the idea!

I've decided Long Term Survivor is a subjective term, and I aim to do something ballsy. I'm going to claim it.  Long-Term could be months, years, decades...who the hell knows? Who's going to tell me I'm wrong? (I'm betting you don't have the balls to do it. And if you do, I'll just call you a "dick" and not listen to you anyway. Because I am ballsy that way too, my friend.) 

By using that term, I sincerely hope that it doesn't offend any Warriors who've been on the battlefield far longer than I. I honor you. I respect you. I want to BE you.  I have no idea what is in the crystal ball for me, but I do know that if I approach life as if I am a long term survivor, then I am living life as a long term survivor.  That's part of the whole Mind/Spirit Thingy, right? 

So, I ammended that page. Here it is:

And finally, to honor a recently fallen warrior:

Well said, Mr. Scott. Well said.

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P.S. To my son, Aidan: I swear I'll start reading The Grapes of Wrath right after I'm done with Kris Carr's book! I think my brain is ready to re-engage! Xoxoxo