The Kick-Ass Ninja Adventures of June/The Outlier

So, if you did the math yesterday, I guess you figured out that even with the juice making and the cleaning of the juicer, and the pill taking, and the doctors' appointment, I find myself with some time on my hands.

In my Ninja Warrior Power Corner, I have ever expanding collection of lovely things that people have sent me to cheer me up and give me courage and hope. And what is June's natural reaction to this? To make a play out of it! DUH! (picture Mickey Rooney saying, "Hey, let's put on a show!")

I've been fleshing out an idea that I think could be really sensational. This is just what is called in the biz a "treatment". (I'm lying. I have no idea if that's what it's called. It just sounded good. I warned you that I was pathologically honest.)

The Kick-Ass Ninja Adventures of June/The Outlier
June was an unassuming girl - no one knew about her super powers (except for the one about being able to drink large quantities of wine). She mostly went about her day, looking for the beauty in the world and in people.

Only she rarely  wore dresses. This picture is not a usual representation of her. In fact, on her First grade report card, her teacher said something like, "Lovely girl. If only she wore more dresses." (True story. Or at least as far as I can remember it. Either way, I think that teacher would have her ass sued in today's litigious climate.)

Until one day...she came upon a potentially tragic situation in which she was compelled to reveal her secret identity...

You see, she kept all her most treasured items in this blingy box, deep in the dark, where she thought it was well-protected with a hard shell. (She called it a "cranium" for some reason. Crazy kid.)

 

The box may seem to contain ordinary things for the average person, but everything there was precious to her. She opened the box daily and would appreciate all the unique things that she had in there. She couldn't imagine life without it.

So, she was forced to reveal her alter ego and her superpowers:

 Yes, you see, June was actually a Ninja Warrior who went by the name of The Outlier. All she had to do was ring the bell and BAM! ZAP! POW! She would turn into The Outlier in a snap!

Sometimes she doubted her ability, because she really had never had occasion to use it before...

but then she could look into her magic mirror, and it would always tell her the truth:

June knew it was time to ring that bell and summon The Outlier and go ninja on anyone ass who was threatening her blingy box.  Fortunately, The Outlier had some weapons at her disposal...

First of all, she had these awesome Ninja stars!!!! Take that, you cranium-threatening bastard thugs! (And in a convenient, camo case!)

And she had a team! 

(all good Super Heros do!)

Steven the clownfish (who is actually not as funny as he thinks he is), has a kick-ass superpower. you see, he won't give up...ever, ever, ever...and he keeps telling June/The Outlier how wonderful and strong she is ...even when she isn't feeling very strong, even when she's scared. and that is the most powerful super power sometimes.

Another part of The Outlier's team is "Rad".  He doesn't have superpowers all on his own, but with the help of his magic...errr (don't say, "nuts'...don't say, "nuts"...)

"RAD" MACHINE... he is able to get rid of the cranium-threatening, bastard thugs. 

It's really a very interesting process and could be a high point of the movie when the squirrel presses that little white button (with the musical symbols on it) and is starts playing "Let It Go" and all the cranium-threatening, bastard thugs run screaming out of the box and implode.

Only we may need to to go for a R rating because of the gore and the swearing that would inevitably ensue. How many "fucks" are allowed in a movie before it becomes R-rated?

Let's think on that one.

Another part of the Invincible Team is "Onci" (the "c" is hard, like "Oncky")
Yes, he may look like an unassuming hedgehog, but he has the power to work with RAD and give June/The Outlier magic pills that help protect the precious things inside her blingy cranium box. But his greatest superpower is that he GETS how fragile and valuable those things are, and he is so darn cute, you really want to just hug him. Only you can't. Because that would be inappropriate.

Finally,  June/The Outlier had another part of her team who tripped on some glitter and turned up LAME, so she had to replace him with...

Dr. Awesome McAwesomesauce!!!  

Who is a flying squirrel. 

Obvi!

and what's cooler than a flying squirrel? Nothing. And flying squirrels can never end up lame because they FLY! Hello!?!?!

Oh, I forgot one detail that should be inserted earlier in the movie...
"It's called "foreshadowing", kiddies.)

The things is....not only were those cranium-threatening,  bastard thugs threatening the precious things in June/The Outlier's blingy box...they were using some kind of electrical device to try to get at it....and that was sending nasty zappity, zap signals throughout June/The Outlier's body that caused her to twitch and want to punch anyone in the face. Which isn't an official "Ninja Warrior" move and could get her disqualified from ever participating in any future Ninja events.

So, Dr. Awesome McAwesomesauce worked his magic and concocted a special brew that stopped (most) of the twitching and most importantly stopped June/The Outlier from wanting to punch people in the face.

The last act is kind of murky still, but I know the ending:

THE END