Some of you may have noticed a teensy-eensy bit of swearing in my blogs. And you're thinking to yourself, "Isn't she a teacher???" I have two things to say to you:
1) I never swear in the classroom/in front of my students. I mean, even if I have slammed my finger in between the whiteboards with such force that it made me bleed and cry. Trust me. That shit hurts. a lot.
and
2) Fuck you.
If case you haven't heard, I have brain cancer, and so I have a #freepass.
I have been thinking about this, though. Because I really never (hardly) ever used curse words before.
I've always said that using expletives showed a lack of imagination...or vocabulary...or possibly, both. But I now feel that a well placed "fuck" or "mother fucker'" has just the right....how shall we say it?
(je ne sais quoi...) penache? in just the right circumstances.
My grandmother use to say (and now my mother says) that you can say "mother fucking" as long as you pronounce the g on the end: fuckingggg...like a "lady".
But what they fail(ed) to understand is that I am not a Lady Brain Cancer Fighting Ninja Warrior. I'm a Mother Fuckin' Brain Cancer Fighting Ninja Warrior...I'm a thug, I've got swagger for days, and you definitely wouldn't want to run into me alone in a dark alley. I'll fuck you up (if you are brain cancer cells).
Otherwise, I will probably leave you alone. Unless you are being douchey. (See, people have a hard time with that word, too. But I feel like it perfectly captures a certain type a person. Hey, it's even in the Oxford Dictionary. If you don't believe me, google that shit. Then, just for fun, try google images and search "douchey". You'll laugh out loud. Seriously. I'm still giggling.)
So, you don't think I "sound like a lady"? Boo-fuckin'-hoo. Does a lady look like this?
 |
| I don't look like this either, but I feel like this when I'm in radiation treatment. Mother Fuckers! |
I have fuckin' brain cancer.
I have fuckin' cancer cells growing in my brain, and I think if I only said, "Umm... excuse me....I don't mean to bother you, but...Please get out," they probably wouldn't listen.
I don't think "please" is their magic word.
so I really couldn't give a fuck if you think the words I'm saying are "inappropriate" or "unladylike".
#sorrynotsorry
Rock on, MFBCFNW, rock on!
ReplyDeleteI like the swearing. Keep going, June!! :-)
ReplyDeleteI took your advice and googled that shit. And - OMG the armpit tattoo. OMG OMG OMG. But I forgive you, because you rock.
ReplyDeleteWell, my only issue with the swears was possibly having to share them. Happily for me, your increased usage hasn't affected mine in the least. Cuss on!
ReplyDeleteAs long as you use correct punctuation, you're good.
ReplyDeleteFuckin' A sista!
ReplyDeleteYou certainly do have Swag for days. And I agree...douche is a very underutilized word but it's really a short, perfect word that describes sooooo much!
ReplyDeleteI'm reminded of something comedian, Chris Rock, said once regarding people who said her cursed too much. He said, "I can say, 'You need to get a fuckin' education,' which has a curse word in it, or I can say, 'Hey kids! How about smokin' some crack?' which doesn't have a curse word in it. Which one is better?" So, I say rock on with the curse words especially as it pertains to kicking cancer's ass!!! And, just so you know, all of the instructional coaches are thinking of you and sending you all their positive energy and prayers!! Sincerely, Sean
ReplyDelete