The One in Which I Talk About Legacies & End with Some Shitty News (Sorry!)

I mentioned in my last blog post that, several weeks ago, I received an email from the Tri-Valley YMCA - a very unexpected email - asking me if I was interested in participating in this year's Dr. Martin Luther King Fellowship Breakfast. They wanted to honor me with a Legacy Award. You could have knocked me over with a feather. How do they know anything about me? Who was considering ME worthy of this award?

I have since found out who knew about me. Hi, Kelly!!! I hope everything is going well with you!!!!

Anyone who has faced their own mortality has thought about what legacy they will leave when their gone. I believe I've written a little about it here on this blog somewhere. I could take some time and look for it and reread it, but.....#freepass! I've always been a little confused by this concept. In fact, I Googled that shit because I wasn't even sure of the definition of the word, "legacy". ( I thought that might be a good place to start, no?) I looked at all the major dictionary-like websites and all them seemed to have the primary definition as relating to something monetarily valuable. For instance, the Meriam-Webster.com "entry is this:


Full Definition of legacy
plural leg·a·cies
1: a gift by will especially of money or other personal property : bequest
2: something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past<the legacy of the ancient philosophers>

I guess I always thought of a LEGACY as something BIG and impacting a lot of people. Especially a lot of money or something that's very valuable. (Think: Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation or Zan Zukerberg Initiative.) I would never be in a situation to build that kind of monetary value, so I've spent a lot of time over the last year thinking if there was something BIG I could do - start a movement or turn the tide somewhere that would make a difference for a lot of people. With all the radiation and chemo and ...well, the business of living with cancer....Was there time? Or has my time run out?

This past Monday, I found out that although I might never have a national holiday named after me, (Hey, I'm okay with that! Although three day weekends ROCK for teachers! haha!) ...I knew people that I don't know "in real life" read this blog, but I found out that I am making a difference in other  peoples' lives. So.....this award is called the Legacy Award. I had to shift my thinking. The idea that my thoughts, and words, and ideas that I was sharing here on this blog was actually INSPIRING HOPE...that in itself, makes me so happy and humbled  - wrapped in a big ball of PRIDE.

I have had many people through the months, convey the idea that I was "inspirational" or "inspiring"...I knew that was a positive thing and a compliment, so (of course) I always said, "THANK YOU!" But honestly, I wasn't sure what exactly that meant... Guess what? I just Googled that shit, too! And what I learned first is that sucky thing that happens from the time that we're old enough to "look it up" - the definition contains the word or base word right in it. So, that's not helpful at all. Like:

inspirational

in·spi·ra·tion·al
ˌinspəˈrāSH(ə)n(ə)l/
adjective

providing or showing creative or spiritual inspiration.
"the team's inspirational captain"

Thanks, dictionary...that makes absolutely clear...NOT!

So, I drill down to "inspiration", which goes a little bit like this:

inspiration
noun
1.an inspiring or animating action or influence:
I cannot write poetry without inspiration.
2.something inspired, as an idea.
3.a result of inspired activity.
4.a thing or person that inspires.[emphasis mine]

So (because of the teacher in me) I went to the base word: inspire , and you want to know something cool? I'm not going to list all the definitions for "inspire" - (Kiddies, that can be some homework for you, okay?) Geez-a-louise! Don't be babies about it! Here's the link to one page!  ,<----click here
I just thought that one part just leaped out at me:

inspire
verb (used without object), inspired, inspiring.
12. to give inspiration.
13. to inhale.

I love the visual of someone reading my blog posts and inhaling. Take a deep breath of the love, and support, and positivity that there is in the world. And take a deep breath and KNOW that we all are going to leave a legacy whether we were lucky enough to be part of the Silicon Valley boom or not. It's not about the Mon-ey, Mon-ey (<----sorry for the earworm, millenials!)

It's the most valuable thing on this earth: Our Lives. This is our GIFT.
Receiving this Legacy Award was one of the proudest moments for me. And yet I was so nervous walking up to the stage to accept it, my knees were knocking together. Thank goodness I didn't have to speak then. They came out to our house and video-taped Steven and I ahead of time, and edited in to a little "video package" to run before my acceptance of my award.

I would remiss if I didn't thank my Schmoopy for all the kind things he said in this video. And he offered to escort me and hold my hand when I had to ascend these two steps on to the stage. What a gentleman! I managed to make it up there without pulling a Jennifer Lawrence or anything, though. Phew!

Proud moment, Monday, January 25, 2016

 Warning! Bummer News Ahead: The day after this picture was taken, I had an MRI on Tuesday. The news is not good. There is a significant change in between the last scan and this one. The scan was reviewed by the UCSF Tumor Board, and they believe there is progression of the disease. We just spoke with the neuro-oncologist from UCSF and have an appointment tomorrow to discuss our options. The tumor is inoperable and radiation & Temodar are no longer appropriate. We're entering a New

Take a big breath with me, please, and let's say it:

 Life is happening right now. Don't miss it!