The One in Which I Talk About Christmas 2015 - One Year Since I Started Treatment!

December 12,2014, I began my treatment for my brain cancer: 5 days a week of radiation and 7 days a week of chemo.  Although I am sometimes mistaken about little details , I'm pretty sure I'm right about this one. I think at that time, my family was hoping for the best, but aware that I was facing bad odds. In fact, the unspoken vibe I felt was that we may not have June around next Christmas. My parents generously asked, Where do you want to spend the holidays?" I responded, "Capitola" (my favorite place in the whole world) And they made it happen. All my children (plus some "significant others"), my parents, my sister, brother, and his significant other, and briefly my niece and her family...and of course, our two doggies! spent Christmas week walking in the albeit chilly, but sunny and quaint village of Capitola. My goodness, Capi is named for Capitola! And we had such a lovely time, we swore we'd do it again in 2015. Click on this link if you want read about last year's experience.

Capitola-by-the-Sea

Sure enough, my parents helped make this happen. But everything was different this year. (Funny how that happens. Life changing things and stuff.) My children are growing to "real adults" with jobs and responsibilities, and some weren't able to take a whole week off from work. My sister also wasn't able to make it. And, of course, we had the addition of our first grand baby...a joy for us and a huge change for my daughter and son-in-love. Their adorable, smart, and brave daughter (I insist that girl babies hear descriptors that go beyond their beauty.), Autumn, requires a great deal of attention and has become the center of her mom and dad's universe. Absolutely rightly so. In fact, we only had one afternoon when our whole family was there together. So precious!

El Niño made a huge impression on our holiday week,too, bringing lots of rain, rain, rain. That didn't really bother me. I always say, "a bad day at the beach is always better than a good day anywhere else". The doggies weren't so keen on going for walks, though. And Steven refuses to get rain jackets for them since it would rob them of their dignity. But Steven managed to coax them along at least once a day, along the river.

Another highlight of the trip was having lunch on the patio of Zelda's with almost all the family. I think the hostess thought we had lost our mind when we asked to sit outside. Hey, it wasn't raining! It was pretty cold, but they wiped off the chairs and let our crazy crew eat lunch with a gorgeous view.

What I'm trying to convey is...life goes on (yay!) and it changes (also a "yay!" because wouldn't it be boring if always stayed the same?) But the changing thing is something that requires some processing and adjustment. One of the new traditions we had planned was to wait until we arrived at our vacation rental, get a big tree, and decorate it there. We've never done that before, but I had always heard that some families have the tradition of doing this on Christmas Eve, so I wasn't concerned. Steven and I set off on December 23rd to get the tree. All the decorations had been brought down from San Jose...only we went to every possible source in the area, and they had no trees. I guess people don't do that Christmas tree tradition anymore? I sat in the passenger seat as we drove from place to place, only to be disappointed with a shake of a head and suggestions of where to try next. I was trying to hold back tears and talk myself out of my disappointment. After all, it wasn't like one of had brain cancer! (Oh,wait....)

We ended up at Orchard Supply - where all the trees were gone,too. But they had some sad Charlie Brown potted plants. And my hidden and sulking attitude adjustment got kicked to the curb. If we can't have a beautiful 6-8 foot towering, impressive tree, we could certainly strive to have the ugliest tree! So, Steven and I picked out a plant that we decided was the fern version of Cousin It from the Adams Family.

I introduce you to the Cousin It of Christmas "trees".

We bought a hedgehog made out of a pine cone for the top (with a blue LED star to enhance it. DUH!) . And a plant stand to give some dignified height - and less likelihood that our doggies and granddaughter would run into it. In about 15 minutes, I went from sad and disappointed to gleeful and belly laughing while we ran around the store, trying to find all the ugliest things possible. [Kiddies, the lesson here is: You know what? Shit happens. Deal with it. Quit yer whining and find the fun.] 

We proudly returned to the house and presented it to the kids, who were great sports about joining in to our frivolity. One of my most wonderful Christmas memories this year was having Autumn "help" put up the lights.

 (Not only is she beautiful, smart, and brave, but she's helpful, too!)

And my kids and I put as many of our ornaments as we could on this little sucker. Katherine encouraged everyone by saying, "It's easy! I'm not even hanging them! I'm just shoving them in there!" It was ugly, but in an ugly-cute kind of way.

Sort of like pugs <ducking and running from all my friends who have pugs> Hey, I've been known to describe our Tess the same way. Our Baja mutt is pretty ugly-cute. No shame in that game!

Here's a "cutie", Tess, named for Tesla Road, where our winery is located.

Later in the week, the sun really came out. And there were lovely views to be seen. I was lying on the sofa, spooning with Schmoopy and watching a movie, and I turned around and looked out the window at the bright light shining in the sky. I debated for a few minutes about interrupting that time and suggesting we go out and go to the beach to enjoy the vistas. But I felt his legs pressed against the back of my legs, his arm wrapped around me, the warmth from the fireplace, and the ugly Cousin It Christmas tree adding to beauty of the moment. And I decided: Nope. This is just perfect. 

I hope you had as perfect a holiday season as we did. And Happy New Year! One more chemo cycle this month, and then we start the "watch-and-wait" phase. Not easy for Type A personality, but my plan is to not just wait, but live life and look for the fun. That sounds like a plan to me!