The One in Which I Decide that Caregivers are Superheroes - and Steven needs a Name!

It's been a surprisingly challenging week, this week, the week after my initial treatment of chemo/radiation has ended. There was a certain comfort to knowing exactly what our schedule would be the past six weeks of treatment. We were in a routine, and, it felt like we were actively doing something to TREAT my condition. Now, I'm supposed to "rest and recover", gradually allowing my brain to heal from the ...let's face it - trauma that it's been through. All while I watch the world around me swirl into a frenzy of activity related to the holiday season. And trying NOT to project into the future and think about the possible results of my next MRI in January....

Add into the mix that I have had to slow down due to the fatigue of the final seven days of radiation "boosts" and the cumulative effects on my speech, timed perfectly with Steven's semi-regular issues with his ears/hearing. You see, his ears get all plugged up from time to time ... which are not that great anyway. I know wives say that their husbands claim they can't hear them, but Steven has actually been tested. And the results indicate that his ability to hear high and low sounds are fine, but the range of the regular human speaking voice is compromised in one of his ears. Doesn't that sounds like a SUPER combination with someone who is experiencing speech challenges and has to repeat herself anyway to be understood?! 

Let's just say that there have been a few moments of .... "frustration" and leave it at that. Okay, I may have been a  little snippy with Steven this week at times when he asked me to repeat myself. But damn it! He's never snapped back! I would say that he has the patience of Job, but then I would feel compelled to Google that shit and fill you in on the origin....

 But I can confidently say (without any further research) that he has much more patience than Steve Jobs had - and I think all of us can agree on that without even having to look it up on the interwebs, or read/watch one of his many biographies.  (And I don't even have to throw my Apple employee friends under the bus on this one. You're welcome.) I'm not a hater. I'm just saying that's not one of his "defining characteristics", shall we say?

But I'm not talking about Steve Jobs. 

I'm talking about Steven Mirassou. 

My Schmoopy. 

My Rock. 

and now my Caregiver.

"Caregiver" - that's the term that's widely used to describe the friend or family designee who is primarily responsible for the patient in cases of serious illness. It's a term that seems so inadequate. Today, I simply want to honor him and all the caregivers out there, who took on or are taking on that role of caring for a critically ill family member/friend. This is my attempt, in some small way, to public acknowledge and express my gratitude, knowing in my heart and soul that I will fail miserably at meeting the depth and breadth deserved.

Almost immediately after my prognosis, I identified myself as a Ninja Warrior. It embodied the strength, power, and agility I thought I'd need to begin and continue this fight. And it's served me well so far.

But I've thought long and hard about how to identify Steven - and other caregivers. There is a certain symmetry to calling them Samurai, but I don't think that quite matches...and I don't want to be lazy. Certainly, the Samurai role was to serve another, and they were badass warriors. And they had to do so more honorably and with far more constraints than a ninja warrior (no #freepasses). But, at least for centuries of history, Samurai were chosen from the upper echelon and drafted into those positions as public servants. (Kiddies, if you're actually interested in a long, drawn-out history of samurais..you know what to do!)

Plus, the samurai uniform isn't nearly as a cool as the ninja warrior, no?

Ninja vs. Samurai uniform - It isn't even a contest! Come on, now!

But, the real problem is that the Samurai title doesn't really capture this: CHOICE. 
I'd be willing to bet that all the caregivers out there would say that they had/have no choice. They would say, "Of course, I have to do all the difficult tasks that I have in front of me." But that is simply not true. They volunteer for that role and can duck out at any point. And that's part of the specialness of any caregiver - that they see no choice when others do. They CHOOSE to stay and slog through the hardest shit, keeping it together... Many times - MOST times - trying to continue to do whatever it is that they were doing before and adding on probably 99% of the things that their "charge" used to be able to contribute (at least in the beginning)...

And I'm talking mentally, physically, spiritually, financially...in too many ways to imagine.

It's exhausting even to think about it.

So, what do you call someone who sees someone else in pain, in need of support...and it's clear that it's not a one time deal - that they are making a committment...and they rush in instead of back away? What do you call someone who agrees to step in, stand side-by-side, through it all, no matter what?

Isn't that the definition of a hero? ....or is it a superhero? (Now THAT'S something that's worth googling.) Okay, here goes...according to Cambridge Dictionaries Online:

hero
: a person admired for bravery, great achievements, or good qualities

superhero
: a character in stories or movies who has special powers, such as the ability to fly, that are used for fighting evil or helping people
: is also a person whose actions or achievements are far greater than what people expect

 Hmmmm...both would work nicely in this situation, wouldn't they? But I'm going with SUPERHERO!  Because caregivers definitely have special powers in my book. and they definitely rise above in their actions and achievements far greater than what people have any right to expect.

Plus...Superheros get cool pseudonyms. If I get to call myself a Mother Fuckin Brain Cancer Fighting Ninja Warrior (#mfbcfnw), then Steven HAS to have at least an equally badass and cool name ...and hashtag! DUH!

Let's see....

• Super Schmoopy is TRUE, but doesn't sound badass enough.
• Bald Hottie is also TRUE, but that's just a superficial observation, isn't it?

I think I need your help! Submit your suggestions in the comments below or Facebook, Twitter, email, or text them to me, we'll put it to a vote. Together, we'll come up with the perfect Super Hero name and hashtag for my Rock, my Schmoopy, my Caregiver! Submission deadline: Sunday, Dec. 21st!!!

P.S. Wine Man has already been used...(Halloween 2010) - Sorry, Schmoopy, but it was too good to pass up!

 Special love and admiration going out there to all the Caregivers/Superheroes out there today and everyday! 

P.S. Sorry for being so snippy this week, Steven! 

You are my Love and my Light and my own personal Superhero 

(even when you're deaf as a doorknob).