The One in Which I Question Why You MIGHT Think I Look Healthier

You know June is feeling better when...you get two blog posts in two days! Yay! Bonus!

I apologize in advance if this one is a little rambly. I've been thinking about this issue, from another angle, for quite a while, but it was this video that multiple people posted on Facebook yesterday that pushed me over the edge:

As I've said before, I've struggled with my weight throughout my life, and in fact, this blog was originally conceived as a space where I could share my attempts to "live a full life". At the time, I thought that was finding balance with work, family, fitness, etc. This was way before my diagnosis.

By the way, I neglected to acknowledge my cancerversary! How silly of me! I was diagnosed on September 24, 2014, which means that it's been 7 months since I found out that have GBM!

I always thought that couples "month anniversaries" were so lame. 7 months living with cancer? I'm alive? Woot!'

Pre-cancer, I was one of those women who never felt that I could get it right - never felt that I measured up to standards. If I focused a lot on weight loss and exercise, I felt that I was neglecting my family and my work. I was always trying to do it all, be it all....let's face it: be perfect. I started following twitter personalities and communities, searched using keywords like: "fitspo", created numerous boards related to fitness and "health". <---notice I put that in quotes.

And then...and then...I found out that I had brain cancer. And not too surprisingly, my focus was/is on something else. I unfollowed many people on twitter, stopped searching "fitspo", deleted pinterest boards and started new ones.

One thing that I've noticed when people who haven't seen me since my diagnosis...it's very subtle, but there's a quick scan of my body and a very well-meaning response, "You look GREAT!" I know some of that comes from that instinct: I thought you would like you were on death's door because you have brain cancer, but I also noticed that you've lost a lot of weight kind of look. I'm sorry...there's something kind of fucked up about that on a level I haven't quite processed yet. #braincancer #freepass

I know not everyone is commenting on my weight loss. I have to admit that I do look ...well, healthier, than I would have expected at this stage in the game.

Do you want to know my secret? Kiddos? Eating things (when I can) that I've extensively researched that I think will help me live longer. <cross your fingers!> 
side note: I wonder how many people would actually "subject" themselves to this without cancer. You decide...

No, I don't eat just fruits and veggies - but isn't this purty?

The things I eat that will help me live longer are the same things that will help us ALL live longer*...and feel better...and yes, be HEALTHY <----notice that this is NOT in quotes.

I'm not one of those people who's been on a million diets - I've never done the cabbage soup diet, or cleanses, etc. I've done one paid weight loss program, which I won't name here because I don't want my ass sued. Truth be told, I lost a lot of weight with them...more than once. And it involves you making choices - which is a good thing, because your (theoretically) learning how to eat "healthy". But people will always find a way to wiggle around "the rules" because let's face it: we have an UNhealthy relationship food. We are using food to satisfy needs other than fueling our bodies. And that's a whole 'nother kettle of fish that I'm not going tackle here.  Helpful hint: eating a whole bag of "baby carrots" or an entire watermelon isn't probably a good idea and those "100 calorie packs" are 100 calories because there are only a few cookies/crackers in each bag - still, they're loaded with processed white flour and sugar.

The calories in/calories out has been in so drilled in to our society that it's practically spoon fed to us as babies. (sorry for the horrible pun!)

Gratuitous picture of my granddaughter, Autumn, who isn't even eating with a spoon yet. Isn't she adorable?

#freepass #autumncoffeykid < -- Yes, she has her own hashtag! DUH!
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And shouldn't that be a red flag when you hear yourself saying: "It's the only thing that works for me..." but I have to keep going back to that because it isn't really my lifestyle? It's something I "do" for a certain period of time to lose weight? 

Another bad pun! haha! Sorry. I've never like ham anyway!

I'm not going to bore with you with details ...I find that most people have a very low tolerance for being told what's healthy eating. And I've found that there's some a lot of controversy out there. If you're actually interested, Private Message me and we can talk. The one message I want to get out is this, regardless if you want to lose weight or just be healthier:

STOP EATING CRAP! STOP EATING PROCESSED CRAP!

Lean in to the screen so you can really hear me: 

IT'S. NOT. FOOD.

It's just like the video and the photoshopped girl. That's not a real person. Most of what Americans eat is not real food.

EAT LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. BECAUSE IT DOES.

And if you should see me sometime soon and say, "You look great!", I promise I won't take offense! I have lost a lot of weight because I'm living a much healthier lifestyle - Really!

...except for this whole brain cancer thing.

*disclaimer: I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on t.v. Who knows? We could be hit by a bus today! FEAR IS NOTHING. LIVE NOW!

Love, June Xoxoxo  #mfbcfnw