The One in Which Schmoopy & I go to the Happiest Place on Earth

Not long after I was dx'ed, had my surgery, and started to get the gist of my prognosis, I told Steven that we needed to start thinking of the things we wanted to do and DO THEM. You know the saying: "You better get busy living or get busy dying!"

I refuse to call it a "bucket list" because that implies that we are doing these things because we think I'm going to "kick the bucket" soon. (Where the hell did that saying come from? Hang on. I'm gonna Google that Shit!) Huh! Interesting! There's not a consensus. What?!You thought I was going to tell you? Geez-a-Louise! Don't be lazy. I've got better things to write about...

Like.... one of the things that popped into my mind pretty much right away when I thought about my "To Do List" (See! Doesn't that sound much less ominous than "Bucket List"?) was to go to Disneyland with Steven.

Spoiler! We went to Disneyland last week!

 I'm a big fan of Disney - yet, we'd only went once with the kids ... such a fun trip! They may feel a little deprived about that, but it was a deliberate decision to wait until they were old enough to really appreciate it. And we saw plenty of evidence this week of babies and toddlers being dragged around the park, crying and whining. I've decided that going to Disneyland with a baby is only a slightly better idea than going to Las Vegas with a baby. (Don't get me started on that...)

This time, The Planner in me came out (She's so annoying sometimes!), and I downloaded The Unofficial Guide to Disneyland 2015 and the app for my phone to check wait times for rides. I was sooooo prepared! Only my subconscious - or brain cancer - either one (You decide.) played a cosmic joke on me because in the last minute rush to pack the car for the airport, I LEFT MY PHONE AT HOME! Now, those of you who know me understand how bizarre this is. But it was such a blessing. It was really like I left The Planner at home, too, and I already said how annoying she can be. Plus, I think The Planner is becoming more and more unreliable. with the short term memory loss and stuff. (Sssssh! She might hear us, and we wouldn't want to hurt her feelings or anything...)

Honestly, I'm so glad I didn't have my phone there. I saw so many people looking through the lens of a phone or an ipad during the parade and fireworks, annoyed because people in front of them were blocking their shot. Put the damn thing down and watch it NOW! It's happening NOW! And who the hell is going to watch that video of the fireworks display later? It's not the same. You are in Disneyland! BE. IN. DISNEYLAND.

I confess that my phone is a very convenient, always available camera - so I have far fewer pictures than I normally would. My mom & dad gave me a Canon Rebel for a birthday present this month (Woot! Thank you!), but I am still learning how to use it. I stuck to "automatic" settings so that meant mostly daytime pictures outside. Part of that is because I'm not a scofflaw and when they say, "No flash photography", I listen! <eh hem!> ( You know who you are, Scofflaws!!!)

Waiting to explore the Pirates' Lair - Argh!

Ruh Roh! (I can hear my oldest daughter already saying, "You guys are such DORKS!"Yep! We let our Dork Flag fly freely!

Anyway, without the phone and the Planner, we were FREEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Free to just wing it! Well, not exactly because the brain cancer insisted on coming no matter what (BRAT! Way more annoying than The Planner), so we needed to make accommodations for it. What-ev. Life is about adaptation, isn't it?

And we're learning more and more about the BRAT and how to travel with it:
1) The BRAT gets tired, just like any toddler you would take to Disney. Except I can't take it out and put in a stroller, feed it treats, and yell at it when it has a meltdown - (which seems to be the strategy of many parents when their brats - I mean, sweet, lovely children  - have the expected meltdown in the mid-afternoon.) 2) The BRAT needs a lot of water. I mean, A LOT. We learned that keeping a close check on water intake was one key to success. 3) The BRAT needs to rest. And we need to listen to my body when it's saying, "Yo! Can we sit down a bit? Or go back to the hotel and lay by the pool and take a nappy, nappy? Thanks!" Finally, 4) My body needs calories to counteract the effects of the BRAT. I know that we walked a LOT. And we made sure we stopped and had a snack every hour or hour and 1/2. We even stopped at Whole Foods after we left the airport before we checked in to the hotel! Sure, we indulged in some off-program" food, but overall, we feel better when we eat better. (See, even though The Planner didn't make the trip, she left some helpful advice!)

The single best thing that we did was to suck it up and admit that I have a disability. The first day, we went into the City Hall and armed with a letter from my oncologist (which they didn't ask to see, FYI), I declared that I am battling brain cancer and the fatigue from my treatments (and probably the BRAT, too). So, I needed some accommodations. She checked to see if I needed a wheelchair (no), and then set me up with a program that allowed me to avoid those long lines. Thank you, Disney!  Anyone who has a disability knows that is a hard thing to do - to publicly declare that you aren't "normal" and can't do all the things that other people can do....that you used to do. But in the long run, it's better to just own it and focus on what you CAN do. It's way more fun. Trust me!

We rode about 3 - 4 rides each day and, the rest of the time just soaked in the ...well, I'll just say it, no matter how hokey it is.... the MAGIC of Disney. We all get to be children at Disneyland! And see the world through their eyes. Where else can I rock those ears with that bow?? The characters walk by and smile and wave. Princesses and Chip & Dale waved at ME...(or my general direction). I'm a big believer in whimsy, and

"Disney = Whimsy on Steroids." 

If Disney wants to use this as their new slogan, they're going to have to pay for it. <grin> That's gold, Baby, pure GOLD!

One of my favorite moments was when we were watching the new nighttime parade for the 60th Anniversary, and this little girl was right over Steven's shoulder yelling ...no...shrieking in his ear with excitement as she waved at each character on each float. "Ellllsssssaaaa! Elllsssaaaa! "Woooooodyyyyy!" Wooooooddddyyyyy!" Imagine wearing headphones and having that projected at full volume in your ears, and you'll begin to get the effect. (Note: this is probably way down on his list of favorite moments...) But she actually thought with all those lights and music and other shrieking children that Belle and Ariel and Mickey could hear HER. And in her heart, she went away with that memory.

My mom made me promise to go on "It's a Small World" and sing along.

Steven clearly loved that, too. <must be read in an extremely sarcastic voice>

I even made him continue another Fremer family tradition which is to pose next to a statue and imitate it as well as you can.

What do you think? How did he do? The guy on the right is way cuter than the guy on the left, though, don't you think?

He's such a good sport! And it was so fun surprising him with the picture from Splash Mountain. As we were about to go down the big dip, he said, "Put your hands up!" Little did he know that I had other plans...

I'm in the back, sneaking a kiss on his neck with my Minnie ears on.

I got to get a little something for Autumn Elizabeth to introduce her to The Magic, but I can't say what since I haven't given it to her yet. And I knew exactly what I wanted for my souvenir of this trip. I was so excited when Steven found it, I (almost) shrieked in his ear. With the Magic of Disney, I got to be a member of the Explorers' Club, too.

If you don't know the significance of this, that means that you've never seen "UP". And you need to stop what you're doing and  watch it - at least the first 10-15 minutes - RIGHT NOW! 

May we many more adventures together, Schmoopy!

The One in Which I Describe the Family Holiday with "New Normal June"

Warning: I'm gonna write a lot and then reward you with some of the most adorable pictures you've ever seen. Trust me. It'll be worth it. Carry on! 
I've taken a full-week off from writing this blog - a deliberate decision to be "in the present" as much as possible and soak up the experience of being able to be with my whole family together at one of the my favorite place on earth...

Yes, well, obviously "The Beach".... (You don't get any points for knowing that. Sorry, Hermoine!)

But more specifically, Capitola, CA. This is the way you usually see it in brochures and stuff, but it's so much more than this.

The distinctive colorful view of Capitola Village

It's one of those places that you don't really even want to tell people about because then it will be even more crowded when you go.

Capitola is a mere 35 - 40 minute drive from our house in San Jose. I think it's a natural phenomenon that folks don't manage to go to their favorite local places nearly enough. But after my diagnosis and treatment in the last 3 months, my family rallied together and said, "What should we do for Christmas because we want to to do it together."

The planning involved not just my husband and my 4 children plus Son-in-Love, but my sister, Kathleen, (and her daughter's family), brother, John, (with his sig. other, Condee), and my father and mother.
Shout out: Mom & Dad were instrumental financially in making this grand gathering become a reality, and we are so very grateful! Airline tickets had to purchased and two full units had to be rented - one had to accommodate dogs! - and at peak, we were expecting 14 adults and 2 small children. And a partridge in a pear treeeeeeeee.....

The "Normal June" (which I shall begin to call the "Old Normal June") would have relished this task - full of moving parts, plans, and lists... Who will stay where? What extra supplies/beds will we need? Menus, grocery lists...it's a Type A's version of heaven, I guess.

But based on the physical impact of the last few weeks of my initial radiation/chemo treatment, it became clear that someone OTHER than me was going to have to handle the rental properties. I was not up to the challenge, and I had the good sense to say, "Please take charge of this!" - and so, Steven & John made that part happen in a flurry of internet and phone negotiations with the long-distance help of Mom & Dad, of course. Done.

As I recovered from my fatigue, I swung into Old Normal June-mode and started sending out emails with logistics, loose schedules, and menus. Google Docs were made and Evernote notes were tagged...and I thought I "was back" - I had this handled - with the help of Daughter April, who did a great job of updating things as plans solidified.

But the reality is, once we got there - things kept changing...with so many variables and people, my plans often were way off target. The good news - and it was really, really good news! - was that both Katherine and Sara were able to stay the whole time - which was not the plan in the beginning. The bad news is that every change meant I needed to adjust The Plan. And I got completely stressed out.

At the heart of it? Lack of control? Fear of disappointing the family because I couldn't handle it? Projecting in the future...fear that my New Normal June might not be up to the task anymore? Who is this New Normal June, and who invited her? Will she be sticking around, or is this a temporary thing???

Those of you that have been following my blog are probably staring at the screen right now slack-jawed - or yelling at me through it: "Have you learned nothing this past three months?" "What about all this poppycock about letting stuff go and knowing what really matters?

 I know. I know. I'm still a Ninja Warrior-in-Training, I guess. Or it's one of the things you never really master? I have no idea. All I know was...

About the fifth day, I had a little meltdown. Eyes turned toward me, asking what the plan was...when were we leaving for the next event. And I just broke down. And released the responsibility. I took control by saying, "I don't want to be in control. I CAN'T be in control." And it was really hard, and I cried, and then...you know what? The world didn't stop spinning. The family rallied, and everyone picked up the ball and ran with it.

Kiddies, I'm happy to say that this Ninja-in-Training was able to right her thinking and focus again on what really matters... And I don't need to tell you that when you do that...

The Magic Happens.

Like this:

FAMILY...2nd, 3rd and 4th Generation 

And family...2nd Generation Fremer Siblings

and family...1st and 2nd Generation Fremer Family

and Family...2nd and 3rd Generations - The Mirassou/Coffey Family (plus "the Bean")

The planned and posed moments were spectacular, 

but so were the unanticipated and unexpected gatherings. 

Maybe more so?

Daily walks along the water with Steven and the doggies - FYI: Capi (left) is named after Capitola

Tiger hat and beanie to keep our baldy heads warm in the morning chill

Goofy Brothers-in-law bonding

And...

Mom & Son swaying to '80's Pop music

Extra time with Sara thanks to coworkers covering holiday shifts...

Smiles and laughter and extra days with Katherine with April practicing her mommy skills!

Morning gatherings on the patio after our walks

Alone time with Seestor - who travelled for 2 days for basically a two day visit! 

Condee and one of the happiest boys you'll ever meet.

Matt & Dad - Multi-generational meetings and conversations

Siblings

and of course, Schmoopy Love!

Getting together the Family is work and complicated  - and yes, unpredictable, 

but there is no doubt that... it is worth it. 

Because it is MAGICAL. 

And just a thought from your in-house MFBCFNW-in-training: 

maybe the fact that it's not easy is part of what makes it magical?