Warning: I'm gonna write a lot and then reward you with some of the most adorable pictures you've ever seen. Trust me. It'll be worth it. Carry on!
I've taken a full-week off from writing this blog - a deliberate decision to be "in the present" as much as possible and soak up the experience of being able to be with my whole family together at one of the my favorite place on earth...
Yes, well, obviously "The Beach".... (You don't get any points for knowing that. Sorry, Hermoine!)
But more specifically, Capitola, CA. This is the way you usually see it in brochures and stuff, but it's so much more than this.
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| The distinctive colorful view of Capitola Village |
Capitola is a mere 35 - 40 minute drive from our house in San Jose. I think it's a natural phenomenon that folks don't manage to go to their favorite local places nearly enough. But after my diagnosis and treatment in the last 3 months, my family rallied together and said, "What should we do for Christmas because we want to to do it together."
The planning involved not just my husband and my 4 children plus Son-in-Love, but my sister, Kathleen, (and her daughter's family), brother, John, (with his sig. other, Condee), and my father and mother.
Shout out: Mom & Dad were instrumental financially in making this grand gathering become a reality, and we are so very grateful! Airline tickets had to purchased and two full units had to be rented - one had to accommodate dogs! - and at peak, we were expecting 14 adults and 2 small children. And a partridge in a pear treeeeeeeee.....
The "Normal June" (which I shall begin to call the "Old Normal June") would have relished this task - full of moving parts, plans, and lists... Who will stay where? What extra supplies/beds will we need? Menus, grocery lists...it's a Type A's version of heaven, I guess.
But based on the physical impact of the last few weeks of my initial radiation/chemo treatment, it became clear that someone OTHER than me was going to have to handle the rental properties. I was not up to the challenge, and I had the good sense to say, "Please take charge of this!" - and so, Steven & John made that part happen in a flurry of internet and phone negotiations with the long-distance help of Mom & Dad, of course. Done.
As I recovered from my fatigue, I swung into Old Normal June-mode and started sending out emails with logistics, loose schedules, and menus. Google Docs were made and Evernote notes were tagged...and I thought I "was back" - I had this handled - with the help of Daughter April, who did a great job of updating things as plans solidified.
But the reality is, once we got there - things kept changing...with so many variables and people, my plans often were way off target. The good news - and it was really, really good news! - was that both Katherine and Sara were able to stay the whole time - which was not the plan in the beginning. The bad news is that every change meant I needed to adjust The Plan. And I got completely stressed out.
At the heart of it? Lack of control? Fear of disappointing the family because I couldn't handle it? Projecting in the future...fear that my New Normal June might not be up to the task anymore? Who is this New Normal June, and who invited her? Will she be sticking around, or is this a temporary thing???
Those of you that have been following my blog are probably staring at the screen right now slack-jawed - or yelling at me through it: "Have you learned nothing this past three months?" "What about all this poppycock about letting stuff go and knowing what really matters?
I know. I know. I'm still a Ninja Warrior-in-Training, I guess. Or it's one of the things you never really master? I have no idea. All I know was...
About the fifth day, I had a little meltdown. Eyes turned toward me, asking what the plan was...when were we leaving for the next event. And I just broke down. And released the responsibility. I took control by saying, "I don't want to be in control. I CAN'T be in control." And it was really hard, and I cried, and then...you know what? The world didn't stop spinning. The family rallied, and everyone picked up the ball and ran with it.
Kiddies, I'm happy to say that this Ninja-in-Training was able to right her thinking and focus again on what really matters... And I don't need to tell you that when you do that...
The Magic Happens.
Like this:
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| FAMILY...2nd, 3rd and 4th Generation |
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| And family...2nd Generation Fremer Siblings |
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| and family...1st and 2nd Generation Fremer Family |
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| and Family...2nd and 3rd Generations - The Mirassou/Coffey Family (plus "the Bean") |
The planned and posed moments were spectacular,
but so were the unanticipated and unexpected gatherings.
Maybe more so?
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| Daily walks along the water with Steven and the doggies - FYI: Capi (left) is named after Capitola |
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| Tiger hat and beanie to keep our baldy heads warm in the morning chill |
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| Goofy Brothers-in-law bonding |
And...
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| Mom & Son swaying to '80's Pop music |
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| Extra time with Sara thanks to coworkers covering holiday shifts... |
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| Smiles and laughter and extra days with Katherine with April practicing her mommy skills! |
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| Morning gatherings on the patio after our walks |
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| Alone time with Seestor - who travelled for 2 days for basically a two day visit! |
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| Condee and one of the happiest boys you'll ever meet. |
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| Matt & Dad - Multi-generational meetings and conversations |
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| Siblings |
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| and of course, Schmoopy Love! |
Getting together the Family is work and complicated - and yes, unpredictable,
but there is no doubt that... it is worth it.
Because it is MAGICAL.
And just a thought from your in-house MFBCFNW-in-training:
maybe the fact that it's not easy is part of what makes it magical?
